Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Welcome to the world...



She is here. 
She is perfect. 
She is loved.

She is named.

As we drove home, just finding out our fifth baby and 4th pregnancy was indeed a sweet, beautiful, perfect baby girl, the road to naming her began. I know the first thought that came into our minds was, “we just named our first daughter the most perfect girl name we could ever come up with and indeed, our favorite of all names…how could we possibly think of another name, when we don’t get to say “Emerson” every day like we though we would and wish we could be doing.” We didn’t even try to think of a name for her for the first 5 or so months…When there is such a huge hole in your heart, family, and life, it’s almost impossible to go on to the “next” when you really long for what you’re missing. Don’t get me wrong, we loved this girl more than words could explain, but we wanted her big sister here as well, then moving on the next names on the list would have been a breeze. 

So, we put it off more and more and the name conversation would start every now and then, then just trail off with no decisions or plans to decide. What were we searching for? Why couldn’t this be easier? We aren’t that indecisive and we both agreed on names pretty easily in the past… 

We longed for meaning.

The need for her name to hold the most significant meaning possible was evident to us both, without even speaking the words. We wanted her to be named after someone, or have a name that meant something great. I think we both knew from the beginning what we wanted her name to be and what the very perfect name was, but speaking the word was hard and deciding 100% that was her name came with opposition and fear. It was at about the 7 month mark that we spoke the word and knew that was our 3rd sweet baby’s name. Our hearts grew a little lighter in that moment and the eagerness for her to be here & to hold her grew so much stronger.

But, we weren’t done…then there is the middle name, again…we wanted meaning. Her middle name actually came as I prayed for her every single day, long before she was formed. I wrote about the loss of our sweet girl & this journey to baby #5 in a series of journals and one word kept coming up in the verses, encouraging messages from friends, and prayers I was writing on the pages. Each and every page. The word literally graces almost every page and I began circling it, it was so clear that would be her middle name, and I didn’t even know she was a “she” yet. I didn’t say anything to Mac, I didn’t want him to feel like that “had” to be her middle name, I wanted him to want it as well. 10 months passed since I had started those journals and as we sat, me 7 months pregnant now, I brought the middle name up in passing…”that’s perfect” he stopped and said, “I have always loved that name, that’s it” My heart, you guys…I could see God sitting smiling & nodding his head with a little laugh, like, “See, I may know what I’m doing after all.” ;-)

We put the 2 names together and that was it. 

There wasn’t a big celebration in that moment, yes, it was surrounded by happiness, but also sadness. I wish I could say time heals everything, but that’s so untrue. While it doesn’t take a single ounce away from the pure joy, excitement, and thankfulness we have for this baby girl, it also doesn’t vanish in light of those things either. I miss my girl, I miss her sweet little face, I miss feeling her move in my belly and I just wish she were here. 

This child we are holding now is named after the most perfect of all people in our lives and her middle name is what got us through the last year and a half since the day we said good-bye to our first born daughter. I hope every time you hear her name or speak it, your heart will be filled with love and hope, reminding you that God will never let you go and never let you down. That he always has a plan and it’s greater than we can imagine. I hope you think of both our sweet girls every time it’s said and that your heart smiles knowing they are both here with us, just one a little different than the other, one in heart and one in hand. 

Welcome to the world, Emerson Faith. 

You are a perfect gift from the perfect God we serve and sent in His perfect timing.

She is here. 
She is perfect. 
She is loved. 

“Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” James 1:2-3

“‘I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born’ says the Lord.” Isaiah 66:9

“I prayed for this child & the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him.” 1 Samuel 1:27

"I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart …" Jeremiah 1:5





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